I Can’t Believe My First Entry About A Guy Named “Pierre” Is Lebrun

Actual transcript from an ESPN SportsNation fan chat with ESPN, CBC, and Sportsnet analyst Pierre Lebrun:

Phil (Pittsburgh)
If hockey ever gets to the level of statistical analysis that is done in baseball, what is the one stat that you would want to see measured (or isn't measured now)?

Pierre LeBrun
I don't want more stats (5:01 PM)

As God as my witness, this blog ceases the second I hear Pierre Lebrun mention the following things:

Corsi
Even strength save percentage
PDO number
Shooting percentage while mentioning treading to the mean
Fenwick
Penalty kill save percentage
Points per 60
Zonestart
Quality of competition the stat, not some flimsy anecdotal narrative

Heck, I’d even be okay with some passing mention of how Ryan Kesler’s grit or leadership matters as much as his favourite slurpee flavour. Alas, I don’t have high hopes.

As for Phil in Pittsburgh, the Israelites wandering around the wilderness for 40 years weren't this lost. I truly hope you one day find your Moses.