Don Banks writes his weekly thoughts on the NFL at si.com every Monday. Today was a real doozy because his title, “clutch quarterbacks, playoff re-seeding, more snaps” touched on one of my favourite topics – identifying who the true “big game” quarterbacks are at the NFL level. Shockingly, (or not if you read mainstream football writers with any regularity) Banks’ model of analysis to decide this was wins and losses. What is highly sophisticated and infallible to him stinks of simplicity and laziness to me.
Banks goes on to write glowingly about Ben Roethlisberger,* Jay Cutler, and Aaron Rodgers while lamenting that Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan might have been playing in games that were, “too big for them,” and “games like this weekend separate the great quarterbacks from the merely good.”
*Banks also mentions hall of fame and Ben Roethlisberger in the same sentence. Now I think Ben Roethlisberger is a fine quarterback, but simply isn’t hall of fame calibre by any measure except wins. When I think of quarterbacks my team is scared to play, the rape barely cracks the top 10. I fear Pittsburgh’s running game more than Big Ben and I certainly fear Pittsburgh’s defence more than Big Ben. There’s already a lot of opposition to the hall being overrepresented with quarterbacks and running backs, Roethlisberger’s induction will only fuel that fire.
Reading the few paragraphs Banks put together, he forgets to mention one glaring bum-chin sized omission who, using Banks’ logic, must also have went from “great” to “good” because he lost this weekend. That would be the decade’s golden boy of clutch of course – Ugh Brady.* Yes, Ugh’s team lost on Sunday to extend their Super Bowl-less reign to a 7th year. But while Banks and most of the football media gives Brady another free pass, Peyton Manning still wallows in his media reputation of postseason choker after losing last week to sexy Rexy Ryan’s New York Jets. Funny how that works. Especially considering Manning’s Colts have won the Super Bowl more recently than New England.
*Ugg is of course the Australian shoe brand Tom Brady endorses. “Ugh” is what I think when I see Tom Brady’s hairstyle. I feel the nickname is a perfect synergy. But as a sidenote, isn’t Tom Brady promoting Uggs a little bit like Rosie O’ Donnell endorsing a Chainsaw? I mean, I’m sure there are a few husky women in B.C. who can slice a northern pine lickety-split but I’ll bet 98% of Husqvarna’s customers still have a y chromosome.
But I would be remiss if I didn’t offer some context here. You see, Ugh started his career with enough postseason success to make Joe Montana blush, a 9-0 record and three Super Bowls in four years. From coast to coast he was lauded as a big game quarterback, unflappable, a riser to the occasion, a winner, and that magical sporting super-trait, clutch. Yes, no matter how far back the Patriots were in those first 9 playoff games, no matter how dire any situation looked, no matter how putrid the offence was early on, Pats fans had hope because they had the most clutch and biggest game quarterback in the league. He led game winning drives and won Super Bowl MVPs. Even if Manning was better during the regular season, Brady was always better when it mattered according to the media. And those are the two traits GM’s want over everything else, they told us, being a winner and being clutch. Brady had those in spades like no one else supposedly.
Funny how his big gaming clutchness disappeared in his prime at 27 while a real, tangible trait like arm strength stays intact until about 35.
In his last 10 postseason games, the big game winner, Mr. Clutch, has a 5-5 record. Conveniently the media reconciles with that ugly little nugget by ignoring it. Good luck ignoring this though. Here are big game Brady’s cumulative numbers over that 5-5 spell:
234/378 61.9% 2456 yds 19tds/13ints
I’m too lazy to figure out Brady’s quarterback rating over that time but I do know he only went over 100 three times in an individual game during that ten game span. Wait, this goes contrary to everything the omniscient media has ever told me about Tom Brady. I thought big game quarterbacks like him were supposed to elevate their games another level when playing in the playoffs and backs against the wall?
Here’s something sweet. Brady’s career passer rating over the entire postseason, 3 Super Bowl seasons included, is 85.4. Brady’s career regular season passer rating is 95.2. Geeze, maybe we’ve been wrong all along. Maybe Ugh is the dreaded anti-clutch like Greg Norman, Marian Hossa, Wilt Chamberlain, and gulp, Peyton Manning. Manning by the way has an 88.4 playoff passer rating. WHASSUPWITAT? Peyton Manning > Tom Brady by playoff passer rating!!!!!!! I feel like the whole world is lying to me.
All this brings me to my fundamental point that:
a) clutch doesn’t exist; but more importantly
b) FOOTBALL IS A TEAM GAME.
Twenty-four players play equally important roles during the same number of snaps. That means defences, offensive lineman, and running backs all contribute to the winning and losing of a football game. It’s not just about the quarterback. Who knew?
Saying someone is a “big game quarterback” and then immediately quoting his record as a post-season starter (hi Ben Roethlisberger – because Pittsburgh’s defence has never been very good) is as forward-thinking as appointing Jared Loughner to Secretary of State.
Here’s some interesting numbers for Banks and all those other “Wins is the only stat that matters” journalist hacks. The New England Patriots’ points allowed per game in the post season:
Super Bowl Seasons (9 Postseason Games) – 17.2
When Tom Brady Stopped Being Clutch (Next 10 Playoff Games) – 21.5
Wow, seems like once the Pats lost key defensive players like Ty Law, Lawyer Milloy, and Willie McGinest, Brady started to become less clutch. Now it’s been a while since I’ve taken philosophy 100, but can a logical deduction follow that it might, just might be possible, that having a good defence can make create an illusion of clutch quarterbacking? Or am I the only one who recognizes that Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, and ANY great quarterback can only influence half of a football game, much the same way a pitcher only has control over how many runs the other team scores?
Actually I’ve heard Ben Roethlisberger is so clutch that he compels his defence to be dominant through pathologic mind waves.* Somewhere along the way Big Ben must have stolen all of Brady’s big-gameness genetic. Sexy Rexy’s feet are probably quaking in his boots. Nothing is more powerful than the mythical.
*That’s probably how he tries to pick up women too. Monster Truck Wheels.
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