March 14, 2011

A Conspiracy Theory That Gives Me An Excuse To Vent About Hab Fans

A few nights ago, Zdeno Chara and a rink partition teamed up to nearly decapitate Max Pacioretty. My opinion – if it counts for anything – holds it was a routine hockey play that took place in an unfortunate spot on the ice. Patches is a good young player who was trying to use one of his weapons, speed. Chara is a seasoned veteran who was trying to use his body to his advantage as he so often does.

Putting myself in Chara’s shoes, I’m not sure how you can make the split-second decision to guide someone into the partition at that speed. It’s just one of those plays where everything went wrong to no one’s fault.

That said, I think a small suspension was justified. If you break someone’s vertebrae on an interference call, there should probably be some extra punishment attached to that. I used to be against gauging the suspension length by the severity of the injury but I’ve turned on that. Chara’s play, while clean, was illegal and the direct cause of a ghastly injury. That warrants some extra punishment if you ask me.
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Now that I’ve disclosed my opinion on the play, I can discuss what really irritated me about this play, Hab fans and their resulting tantrum. It wasn't so much Hab fans I know – moreso the ones who live in Montreal who reportedly called into radio shows the next morning with cries of boycotting the NHL.

My hate for Canadiens fans supersedes that of any other fan base in the NHL. Five out of 11,000 reasons for this are:

• They treat their city like a G20 protest after winning one playoff round.
• They boo the American anthem. Stay classy.
• Their fans are merciless pricks to their players. They showed Pat Roy the door, they booed Carey Price incessantly, and the way they treated Patrice Briesbois was deplorable.
• They sing that stupid ole song which isn’t even French. It’s Spanish you dinks. More Cegep is necessary.
• I have an inherent dislike for the province of Quebec primarily due to their politics.*

*Why do I feel this way? Well to make a list using various synonyms of the word “hate”, I loathe the Bloc Quebecois, I detest the disproportionate funding Quebec receives from the federal government, and I abhor the province’s people who encourage this by voting as they do. If I woke up tomorrow and found out Quebec separated, I’d dance a jig. I don’t put a lot of stock in culture and would happily waive adieu from Parliament Hill as they could assume a third of our national debt to make up for those equalization payments.


Anyhow, as if Hab fans aren’t mental enough, this Pacioretty story broke.* Not only have the fanatics lost their marbles over this thing, but so too has the eclectic.

*Pun intended.

First off, the Quebec Ministry of Justice has encouraged the Montreal police to investigate the incident. Apparently they're suffering from a grade-3 concussion too. The only hockey play I’ve ever recalled a criminal investigation of was the Todd Bertuzzi-Steve Moore situation. It is simply asinine to say these are related in any way. I hate being a conspiracy theorist, but there is no way Pernell Karl Subban would be investigated if he did the exact same thing to Tyler Seguin as Chara did to Patches. This reeks of a few higher-ups in the ministry letting their fandom get in the way of their job.

Not to be outdone, Air Canada has threatened to pull sponsorship from the NHL because the league didn’t suspend Chara. Huh???? The arrogance of Air Canada to blackmail an organization the size of the NHL is startling. Using corporate dollars to influence league-decision making is wrong on every level and makes me irate as a fan of the NHL.

I seethed further when Air Canada’s CEO Calin Roviescu sure seemed like a Hab fan according to his bio. First off, before heading Air Canada, he spent over 20 years in Montreal practicing law. The guy also spent the bulk of the 1970s attaining degrees from McGill and the University of Montreal. Google couldn’t tell me where he spent his childhood but a French name leads me to believe that unless he’s from St. Brieux, Saskatchewan, his formative years were also in Quebec.

But that’s not even the smoking gun of my theory This is. Mr. Roviescu was at the game Patches nearly died. I presume he was using his pair of season tickets to watch his favourite hockey team, le bleu, blanc, et rouge.

Following Air Canada's stand, VIA Rail has also threatened to pull sponsorship from the NHL. Anyone want to guess where they’re HQ’d? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not Toronto.

This kind of stuff makes me sick. Say what you want about Gary Bettman*, but he actually made the right call this time around. He won’t be bullied by corporate fanboys who are trying to turn his league into their string puppet show.

*And I’ll say plenty, because I really dislike the man.

“If they decide they need to do other things with their sponsorship dollars, that's their prerogative, just like it's the prerogative of our clubs that fly on Air Canada to make other arrangements if they don't think Air Canada is giving them the appropriate level of service,” Bettman is quoted as saying.

It’s nice to see a little Keyser Soze in him. Suppose Coke tried to pull their sponsorship from the NHL after Dustin Byufglien got injured or Telus threatened to stop sponsoring the Oilers unless Darryl Katz fires Steve Tambellini.

The NHL's reputation, already with a few black eyes at the senior administrative level, would be even worse. Thankfully, most corporations are above that. Now if only La Belle province would take off their diapers and let senior (hockey) executives direct the game....

2 comments:

Fora said...

I wholeheartedly agree with you on all points Darryl, except, as you might imagine, your apparent glee at the thought of Quebec calling it quits on the confederation thing. A conversation for another time, another place.

Not an avid fan of culture are you? I sit here, mouth agape with incredulity. I suppose your statement in sufficiently general to mean pretty much anything, but it affords me an easy opportunity to recommend a great movie, pre-Matrix (you'll understand why that's a big deal when you see it) about a society where culture/emotion (yes, interchangeable and synonymous) have been outlawed. Batman plays the lead. Check it out.

Anyways, glad to have discovered your blog! I'll keep checking it out, though I probably know less about sports than your baby sister. Take care man!

Durf said...

Mike -- thanks for reading.

I'm not an anti-culture guy by any means but sometimes the costs outweigh the benefits.

The argument that Quebec deserves all the funding they get from the federal government because they need to protect their language and identity is a non-starter for me because every province has strong cultural roots.

Take Saskatchewan for example, per capita, we have the strongest population of First Nations people. Yet Saskatchewan's First Nations receive handouts equal to Quebec first nations. I think that's fair.

Meanwhile, we also have a small, but vibrant French population. Yet towns like Gravelbourg, Saskatchewan have a harder time protecting their culture because they are not Quebecois French, and thus, aren't a soverign nation and whatever other creative verbiage the federal government can muster to justify handing out millions and millions more to Quebec than they do to other province on a per capita basis.

I'm just sick of the province's constant threats and their tendency to hold the federal government at gunpoint over every decision unless the province of Quebec gets its way.

So yeah, merci beacoup for 150 pretty good years. But it's time to move on. I'd love to see Canada intact but the political landscape has to change (ie: change how the BQ can get 10% of the popular vote but maintain the source of power they do in the House) and I don't forsee that happening in the near future.